Two Down, One To Go

Just spent Monday and Tuesday visiting specialists in Melbourne, cardiologist on Monday (for those who dont know, I have a heart condition that needs some attention from time to time). He is happy with me to let the heart condition go for now, at least until radio therapy is complete, it seems to be responding to changes in diet anyway.  Today was the plastic surgeon who did my operation recently, he is very happy with the way I am healing and I only need to see or contact him if a problem arises. Tomorrow I am off to see the oncologist, Selina and I have many questions that we want answers to, some we may not like but we think it is better to know what were up against.
Physically I feel pretty good except for feeling completely exhausted. For weeks now we havent slept very well and it is catching up with us. Mentally I dont know how I am supposed to feel, should I be elated that I have a chance of living to an old age or should I be angry that this has happened to me. I am struggling with this at the moment and the tiredness is compounding the problem I think.
Around the time of my diagnosis I came out of the doctors office and was sitting in my car alone wondering what to do when I saw a couple pushing a shopping trolley down the street with a little boy of about three in it, next to the boy was a carton of beer and both were sucking on a can, it was about one in the afternoon. I thought what chance does that kid have and why is this happening to me when those two will probably live to 75 plus. Life doesnt seem fair sometimes.
Like I said, physically Im o.k, mentally not so good, maybe oncologist will give me some answers that may help.