Depressing Place

Had a visit to the cancer centre at Traralgon hospital this week....although it is a bright and new building and the staff are professional and friendly I hope no one I know, be they friend or family has to go there.  The place has a feeling about it that is not pleasant, all the patiants I saw were very elderly and looked like they were just hanging onto life.
The meeting with the oncologist overseeing my treatment went well, I start on the 7th Decenber and will go every working day for twenty days, so should be done by mid January. Unlike the surgery I dont feel positive about this part of the journey, I know it will increase my chance of survival, but I am not looking forward to visiting this place every day and being surrounded by so much pain and suffering.
On a brighter note, I went out on my bike with the Traralgon bunch this morning, managed to complete the ride with the bunch which makes me feel mentally o.k. Part of me thinks that if I can do the same as non cancer sufferers then I must be o.k and not being affected by the illness.

Thanks all, Col'

A Great Weekend

Had a fantastic weekend away with my family. Lily and Troy both caught there first fish and we all got a chance to relax and forget about me having cancer for a few days. Selinas parents came with us and it was a chance for us to thank them for all they have done for us over the last few weeks. Its comforting to know we have people like Sue and Allan looking after our kids when needed, all the little things they do are much apreciated and allows us to attend appointments or hospital knowing our kids and home are being loooked after.
I have an appointment with the radio therapy oncologist on Wednesday to discuss my treatment plan. So its back on the merry go round of doctors and hospitals again.

Remission

Saw my oncologist yesterday and he is very happy with my situation. I was at stage 3B in the scheme of melanoma sufferers, survival rate of stage 4 is 3%. Survival or cure rate for my situation is 65%. At present I am classified as in full remission, that is to say the doctors believe I have know cancer cells in my body. For every year I remain cancer free my chance of survival goes up 10% and 95% of patiants who get to 5 years go on to be cancer free after10 years.
Radio therapy is being recommended more as a precaution than anything else, just in case some cancer cells are still present in the area. This will take place in Traralgon and will be every day for six weeks, the side effects are minimal and I should be able to function normally while I am having the treatment.
I am happy with where I am at the moment, especially considering the road to get here was very up and down, however the tiredness is dragging me down, Im sure a few good nights sleep will help.
We are going away this weekend, I just want to get away from having cancer for a weekend, before I know it I will be back having treatment and surrounded by people involved in the cancer community so this weekend is a chance to forget about it for a few days, hopefully it helps. Thanks all, Col'

Two Down, One To Go

Just spent Monday and Tuesday visiting specialists in Melbourne, cardiologist on Monday (for those who dont know, I have a heart condition that needs some attention from time to time). He is happy with me to let the heart condition go for now, at least until radio therapy is complete, it seems to be responding to changes in diet anyway.  Today was the plastic surgeon who did my operation recently, he is very happy with the way I am healing and I only need to see or contact him if a problem arises. Tomorrow I am off to see the oncologist, Selina and I have many questions that we want answers to, some we may not like but we think it is better to know what were up against.
Physically I feel pretty good except for feeling completely exhausted. For weeks now we havent slept very well and it is catching up with us. Mentally I dont know how I am supposed to feel, should I be elated that I have a chance of living to an old age or should I be angry that this has happened to me. I am struggling with this at the moment and the tiredness is compounding the problem I think.
Around the time of my diagnosis I came out of the doctors office and was sitting in my car alone wondering what to do when I saw a couple pushing a shopping trolley down the street with a little boy of about three in it, next to the boy was a carton of beer and both were sucking on a can, it was about one in the afternoon. I thought what chance does that kid have and why is this happening to me when those two will probably live to 75 plus. Life doesnt seem fair sometimes.
Like I said, physically Im o.k, mentally not so good, maybe oncologist will give me some answers that may help.

Escape From Room 31 At Epworth Hospital

Sugeon visited yesterday morning and surprised me by saying I could get remaining drain out and go home immediately. I just want to say thanks to all at Epworth at Box Hill, the staff were fantastic and the care was first class (and I should know as Ive spent some time in hospitals). Packed my gear up and we were back home by 2.00pm. Great to be home.
Odd feeling at the moment, I find it almost impossible to relax, its almost as if someone is watching me and like I am waiting for something to happen, not good. Will try and keep busy and keep my mind occupied through this anxiouse period.
Not much will happen for the next few weeks so I will probably wind this blog up after I see the specialists next week and find out recovery statistics and program for treatment. Going to relax at home for the next week or two then back to work before I start radio therapy around christmas time.
Thanks all,
Colin

Pathogy Report

Got some more good news.  Pathology results are back, not perfect, but pretty good.  Cancer isolated to one lymph node, the tumor had grown slightly out of the lymph node.  This means that I have to have radiation therapy in six weeks (once the wounds healed) to make sure no cells have been left behind.Dr Phil (the oncologist) is happy with this result apparently survival is better if you have less lymph nodes involved.Recovering well.  Got one drain removed yesterday waiting to see if the other one can come out today.  If I get it out I should be home tomorrow.  Might be able to go for a ride on the weekend, (got to get back to training and racing to try and stop them Warragul blokes from winning our club races, only joking WCC).

Peoples responses still never cease to amaze me, so many people who I have lost contact with have called or popped in just to let me know they are thinking of me and my family, its amazing and really reminds me I know some great people.

Me And My Bike(s)

A strange morning, nothing new to report but I find myself staring out the window with lots of thoughts running through my head about what makes us who we are (a bit deep for me, I know)? Think I might put some thoughts down and then move on.
I have always ridden bikes, when I was a kid me and all my mates had BMX's but out of all the kids I rode with, I was the only one who had to race, why? When my older brother started riding mountain bikes as a form of training for moto x, I started, as it looked like fun, guess what, I eneded up racing mountain bikes, why? The same with tri-athalons, a bit of running and swimming as a way to keep fit and then had to race. Eventually I settled on racing on the road and love it. Back in 2005 I got hit badly by a car and didnt ride for some years, but riding was always on my mind and I continued to buy magazines and keep up with results in Europe and Australia. When I turned forty I talked Selina into buying me a flat bar road bike, I said it would be great for riding on the bike paths with her and the kids or putting a bike seat on and taking Troy for a spin. It was not long after I turned forty that we returned to Latrobe Valley and I started work at Hazelwood. We were staying in Churchill so it seemed logical to just commute to work on a bike, well the commute home got longer and longer and before I knew it I was back racing. Selina has often asked why I cant just be happy with cycling for fitness and to be honest I dont know why. Im pretty sure most bike riders are similar, theres something about competeing that fullfills a desire within. I dont think it is about winning, It cant be because I havent won many races, its about competeing, driving a winning break, getting over a climb with the leaders or just finishing at the front of a race.
How does this relate to me and cancer, well the competitive side of me doesnt want to live with cancer, It wants to leave it behind me and beat it so that it never raises its ugly head again.
Thanks for reading.

Daytime TV is very bad

Nothing really to report, just trying to fill in some time. Waiting for surgeon to visit, he may have pathology reports. Selina has gone home for a couple of days as she has some work commitments, she has been amazing through this and I will never be able to repay her but I suppose thats why I married her. I am feeling good and can use my arm more than I thought I would be able to, I better not sound to well or work will be expecting me back soon, now that I know they are keeping up with my progress through this blog, hello all at IPRH and Fluor at Hazelwood and thanks for your support.
Looked up the cycling results for Stratford to Dargo race this morning, congratulations to all LCCC memebers who completed race, hopefully be able to have a crack at it next year.

Post Surgery

Op went really well and surgeon was happy, he said none of the other nodes appeared to have cancer but must wait for pathology to confirm. I myself feel good, very little pain at the moment. I now have a week or so to relax, watch tv and surf the net. I have internet through monitor at bed so will try and put something interesting down for people to read. A relaxing day snoozing, reading paper and magazines and chatting to visitors and staff. Thanks to all for calls,texts and visits.

An Unexpected Pick Me Up

Had a race tonight at Hazelwood pondage, thought I would ride A grade and try and hang on. Managed to ride really well and fall across the line first. Big thanks to Chris, a great bloke I have known for close to twenty years, we first met racing years ago and although our lives have taken different paths and we havent seen each other much over the years we find ourselves back were we first met doing the same thing, ironic.  Although it was only a small club race it did make me feel great, I seemed to float home and witnessed a great sunset as I was riding home, probably wouldnt have even noticed it if I didnt have cancer. I seem to notice and apreciate all the little things around me a lot more. In a happy place at the moment and ready for the surgery that will save my life. I will probably get Selina to update this blog while I am in hospital, shes more betterer with words than me anyway.
Called into work today to tidy up a few things. Everybody was positive and genuinely concerned and interested in my well being. A big thanks to all.

Here we go again

Surgery is looming on the horizon and the euphoria from last week has well and truely disappeared.  I watch Colin and see that he is becoming more tense and concerned.  He disappears for periods of time for contemplation and I find myself going off to find him.  It is hard to see your loved one looking so sad.

He is coming back to reality with a bump as the realisation that he still has metastatic melanoma (cancer) and a big battle ahead, commencing on Friday. 

Colin will be in hospital for about a week, I am sure he would appreciate friends visiting him to cheer him up and talk about everyday things.  I know he will be bored of my conversation and fussing by Saturday.  If you have time please pop by and see him. 

Colin will be in the Epworth Eastern, 1 Arnold St, Box Hill.

Cheers
Selina